Santa’s Got Male
Mall | Baltimore, MD, USA(I have just turned two years old. My little brother was born about a month before. We are visiting Santa.) Santa: “Hello, little girl! What do you want for Christmas?” Me: “Do...
View ArticleTattoo Twitter Tatter
Mall | Muskegon, MI, USA(My mom, dad, and I are at the local mall getting new cell phones. We all have camera phones now. My dad had also just gotten a new tattoo on his forearm.) Dad: “Look! I can use...
View ArticleIn-Laws In Line
Mall | San Francisco, CA, USA(I am out with my brother in-law and my niece as we go shopping in a mall. We stop by a small coffee place before going in.) Brother-In-Law: “What do you want? I’ll get you...
View ArticleWill Need To Have Words With His Son
Mall | Singapore(I am around nine or ten years old; I’ve just gotten some science-fiction books passed down to me from an older cousin. I come across a strange word, and try to sound it out as I walk...
View ArticleThe Ridicule Molecule
Mall | Chicago, IL, USA(My little brother likes to come up with creepy pickup lines and then test them on me. On a trip to the mall, I am followed around a brain games store by an employee who is a bit...
View ArticleWhen You Have To Butt In
Mall | USA(My younger half-sister and I are not really on good terms. She is super popular, snotty, and insists on only wearing name-brand clothes. I am more on the easy going side, and didn’t grow up...
View ArticleEnter The Dragon Stall
Mall | Germany(My sister and I are at the mall’s bathroom. The flush is activated not by pressing a button, but by stepping on a small pressure-sensitive spot on the floor. While washing my hands, I...
View ArticleLooking Butt-Hurt
Mall | USA(I’m a teen, and a very self conscious one at that. I don’t like anyone to look at me for more than a few seconds at all. I’m walking with my mom in the shopping mall.) Me: *hiding self*...
View ArticleThey Come In Minnie Sizes Also
Mall | Canada(My dad and I are shopping at a crowded mall on a Friday. My dad sees the Victoria’s Secret ad. It is a giant billboard of a girl in a black bra.) Dad: “Hey!” (He walks up to the ad,...
View ArticleThere’s A Time And Space For Everything
Mall | USA(It’s back to school sale season and certain store that sells items one put in their bed or bath room has their dorm stuff out. One dorm set has generic famous images of NY, Paris, and London...
View ArticleJedi One, Get One Free
Mall | Courtenay, BC, Canada(My 12-year-old son and I are walking through a mall and come to a sporting goods shop. There’s a window display of skiing equipment, including a figure dressed in a shiny...
View ArticleJust Don’t Do What The Bears Do
Mall | PA, USA(My mom, daughter, and I are shopping when we walk past a kiosk offering bathroom renovations.) Salesperson: “Are you happy with your bathroom?” Me: “I don’t have a bathroom.” Mom: “Yeah,...
View ArticleAn Affront To Fashion
Mall | Prince George, BC, Canada(My mom, my sister, and I are all at our local mall looking for a dress for my mom to wear to my sister’s wedding. For the most part, this involves me and my sister...
View ArticleNo Sugar Coat
Mall | USA(I have struggled with confidence issues in the past, thanks to an unsupportive family and being a misfit at school due to my ‘nerdiness.’ However, with the help of a few close friends, I’ve...
View ArticleBathing In The Glory Of Misbehavior
Mall | USA(My dad and I are out shopping when we see one of the display tubs in the aisle. Note that my father is normally very stern.) Father: *whispering* “Psst. [My Name]. Hey.” Me: “Yes?” Father:...
View ArticleRelatives Are Relative
Mall | NC, USA(I’m Korean and my family is obviously white. I was adopted as an infant and neither of my two older brothers ever think much of it. The oldest is early 20s, the other is 20, and I’m just...
View ArticleDad Of The Dead
Mall | USA(My teenage sister and I are in the mall when the zombie apocalypse starts. We have found a safe spot, and are frantically calling our dad to come and pick us up.) Sister: “Dad, please! You...
View ArticleNirvana Has Been Axe’d
Mall | TX, USA(I’m at the mall with two cousins, who are brother and sister.) Cousin #1: *sniffs the air* “Smells like… teen spirit.” (It is obvious that he is making a reference to the Nirvana song....
View ArticleThe Scotch Is The Icing On The Cake
Mall | Buffalo, NY, USA(My brother and mother are in town for a long weekend and I show them the local Galleria. My brother has his own ideas of how to entertain himself.) Brother: “I’ll be at the...
View ArticleParents Just Have To Be Told Straight
Mall | Portland, OR, USA(I am 17 and am at the mall with my parents.) Me: “I’m a lesbian.” Dad: *pulls out his wallet and hands my mom $5* Me: “You were betting that I was gay?!” Mom: “No. We knew you...
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